Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends
All through their high school days
Both members of the 4H Club
Both active in the FFA

After graduation Mary Anne went out
Lookin' for a bright new world
Wanda looked all around this town
And all she found was Earl

Well, it wasn't two weeks after she got married
That Wanda started gettin' abused
She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses
And make-up to cover her bruise

Well, she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
She let the law take it from there
But Earl walked right through that restraining order
And put her in intensive care

Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta
On a red eye midnight flight
She held Wanda's hand and they worked out a plan
And it didn't take them long to decide
That Earl had to die

Goodbye, Earl
Those black-eyed peas?
They tasted all right to me, Earl
You're feeling weak?
Why don't you lay down and sleep, Earl
Ain't it dark?
Wrapped up in that tarp, Earl

The cops came by to bring Earl in
They searched the house high and low
Then they tipped their hats
And said "Thank you, ladies, if you hear from him let us know"

Well, the weeks went by and spring turned to summer
And summer faded into fall
And it turns out he was a missing person
Who nobody missed at all

So the girls bought some land and a roadside stand
Out on Highway 109
They sell Tennessee ham and strawberry jam
And they don't lose any sleep at night
'Cause Earl had to die

Goodbye Earl
We need a break
Let's go out to the lake, Earl
We'll pack a lunch
And stuff you in the trunk, Earl
Well, is that all right?
Good! Let's go for a ride, Earl
Hey

Well, hey hey hey
Ah, hey hey hey
Well, hey hey hey