Yeah, I'm sitting on this barstool talking like a damn fool
Got the twelve o'clock news blues
And I've given up hope for the afternoon soaps
And a bottle of cold brew
Is it any wonder I'm not crazy? Is it any wonder I'm sane at all?

Well I'm so tired of losing, I got nothing to do and all day to do it
Well, I go out cruisin' but I've no place to go and all night to get there
Is it any wonder I'm not a criminal?
Is it any wonder I'm not in jail?
Is it any wonder I've got...

Too much time on my hands?
It's ticking away with my sanity
I've got too much time on my hands
It's hard to believe such a calamity
I've got too much time on my hands
And it's ticking away, ticking away from me
Too much time on my hands
(It's t-t-t-t-ticking away)
Too much time on my hands
(And I don't know what to do with myself)
Too much time on my hands

Too much time on my hands
Too much time on my hands
Too much time on my hands

Now, I'm a jet fuel genius
I can solve the world's problems without even trying
I have dozens of friends and the fun never ends
That is, as long as I'm buying
Is it any wonder I'm not the president?
Is it any wonder I'm null and void?
Is it any wonder I've got...

Too much time on my hands?
It's ticking away with my sanity
I've got too much time on my hands
It's hard to believe such a calamity
I've got too much time on my hands
And it's ticking away, ticking away from me
Too much time on my hands
(T-t-t-t-ticking away)
Too much time on my hands
(And I don't know what to do with myself)
Too much time on my hands
Too much time on my hands
(T-t-t-t-ticking away)
Too much time on my hands
Too much time on my hands
(Too much time on my hands)
(Too much time on my...)